Comments on: Soul Connections

By: contactos amor

contactos amor — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 00:52:38 +0000

Interesting post!Can anyone explain what you’re supposed to feel when you meet your soul mate?Is there a difference with physical attraction, chemistry?Does your heart beat faster?Is it possible to feel the soul mate connection for one person without that person feeling the same way?

By: Darrell Hagan

Darrell Hagan — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 09:41:06 +0000

I agree that I’m very lucky that in my case it all worked out okay, because there usually isn’t a good outcome in these situations and one or more people get hurt. And I can see where you would feel that he was being selfish.

But the main thing that I wanted to get across to you is to not blame yourself. At first, my ex didn’t believe for a minute that I had met my soul mate, and she wasn’t really convinced that it wasn’t just a fling until after my wife and I had been married for about 10 years. Then she finally accepted that we were serious, and began to believe that maybe she wasn’t the problem in our former marriage afterall. And I helped her to rebuild her self confidence by giving her compliments, telling her what a good mother she’s been to our daughter, and rooting for her when needed. It took years, but she finally began to come out of her shell, and I’m proud of her. Anyway, sorry to ramble on a bit but I don’t get a chance to talk much about this these days. For you Cathy, I got the impression from your post above that you are a wonderful and strong person. I think you’ll do just fine. Good luck to you.

By: claycath

claycath — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 21:00:00 +0000

Thanks Darrell, for a different perspective. I agree with your point of view. I’m sure my ex never intended to hurt me or my children. I just felt he was incredibly selfish at that time to put his infatuation before the rest of us. Now, I’m seeing that the draw to his “soul mate” was just too strong too ignore.
I’m glad things worked out good in your case.

By: Darrell Hagan

Darrell Hagan — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 08:10:55 +0000

Cathy, thanks for sharing. I don’t think that anyone will think less of you for this post. I am so glad that you were able to forgive your ex if he has truly found his soul mate, and don’t blame yourself. Let me offer another point of view: Just over 20 years ago, I too was married when I met my true soul mate. It certainly wasn’t planned, or even something which I thought much about – it just happened.

I took the direct approach – I went home that day, sat down with my then wife, and told her that I was in love with someone else, and tried to be as gentle as possible. There was much hurt to her, and even now, over 20 years later, I wish it could have been easier for her. We had been married for 4-1/2 years at the time and had one child.

First, I should make it clear that there was no physical contact between me and my then-new girlfriend until after I was divorced and remarried to her. I was raised to never violate my marriage vows under any circumstances, and I never have. But I am also open minded enough to understand where it might happen to someone else.

Anyway, I ended up married to my soul mate, and we have been very happily married for 20 years now. My ex and I are close friends, have been for years. We can talk about anything. She and my wife are good friends too. My daughter, who is now 23, has always loved me and her two moms.

In retrospect, I’m glad that I was totally honest with my ex-wife. Had I snuck around and lied to her, I don’t believe that it would have worked out as it did. I’ve told my ex many times over the years that there is certainly nothing wrong with her, just that her and I weren’t right for each other. She now has a new boyfriend whom I think is a great guy, and I hope it works for her.

Hope my story from the other perspective helps. Take care and God Bless.