I’m at the half century mark! What I’d do over.

I had my 50th birthday a few days ago. It’s hard to believe I’m here.  My life is quite different than I thought it would be at 50.  And I remember when I was in my 20′s thinking that 50 was OLD.  It doesn’t feel old now that I’m here. I’ve come to the conclusion that “OLD” is always at least 10 years older than your current age. LOL

With this milestone in my life, it got me thinking about regrets. As the song goes, “I’ve had a few”. I thought about what would I do differently if I could go back in time, with the current wisdom I now have.  Here’s a list:

1-I’d spend more time playing with my children. Some of my fondest memories were the few times my parents played with me. They played board games occasionally & one “hide and seek” type game that we loved was called “monster”. My mom or dad would come hunting for us while we hid, and pretend to be a scary monster with full sound effects. We loved it! I’m sure it was very energy draining for them  & they didn’t do it very often but I still remember the half a dozen times they did.

I did  play with my kids but I don’t think I did it enough. There was always something else calling for my attention.  I wish now that I had made a point to play with them every day if possible.

2- I wish I had started a good skin care regimen earlier…and stayed out of the sun when I was a teen.  I actually have Cherokee roots but you’d never know it to look at me. The European side (English, Irish, German) took over and I burn and freckle easily & am fair skinned. As a teen though, I was determined to have a great tan like my sister (who did get more of the Cherokee coloring) and I baked myself for several years. I finally gave up when I was 19 and got the worse sunburn of my life from falling asleep in a lounge chair down in Key West. So no more sun for me. I think that’s why most people now think that my sister, (who is 4 years younger than me) is the older sister. She continues to be a sun worshiper and it shows.

I also had oily skin so up to a few years ago, I never used any type of moisturizer.   Once I got on a consistent skin care routine, I noticed a big difference in how young I looked. Just think if I had started that in my 20′s!

3-I would have made better decisions with men. I won’t go there but lets just say, I should have listened more to that little voice in the back of my mind telling me that there was something not right with this relationship. Instead I ignored that little voice….and paid the price.

4- I would followed my dreams earlier instead of doing what I was good at….but hated doing.

5-I would have furthered my education sooner. I feel like I have learned more in the past few years than I have in all the years prior. And I have grown intellectually, socially, business wise, and emotionally because of it. I wish I had turned off the tv 30 years ago and started my self education back then. I’d be a genius now!

6-I’d take more chances in my business and life. In the past, I was just too scared or too lazy to take many chances. And I missed many wonderful opportunities.

7-I would have found my own “self” earlier. I spent a good portion of my adult life thinking I was who my mother said I was. What I didn’t see is that she saw me as i was when I was 13. I have changed quite a bit since then and am not the same person at all. I don’t know why  it took me so long to find my own “voice” and to learn to actually like myself. And realized I wasn’t the bratty little 13 year old my mom still saw me as.

8- I would have asked for help sooner in my business and my life. In my family, if you asked for help, it was a sign of weakness and you were berated. So I learned to do everything myself. We all do better when we lean on each other and learn from each other. I think I would have been much further along in my business if I had asked for help sooner. And I’m sure I’d be better off personally.

I think that about does it. I tried to come up with a list of 10 but 8 is all I could come up with. So I guess that counts for something. Right? So…what would you do differently?

P.S. Today’s Quote:       Dwell In Possibility!     Emily Dickensen

P.S.S.   If you want to find out some interesting statistics about the people who visit your site, type quantcast/ in the browser (after the http://) & then type in your web address.                                                                                      Example: http://quantcast/www.cathyscreations.com

Soul Connections

I have debated over the last few days whether I wanted to write this post or not. It really opens my life up to you all and you might not think as much of me after getting a little insight into my life. I may just delete this whole post after I’m done writing it. But at least I’ll have it out of my head. Do you ever do that? Have something in your head that you need to get down on paper (or the ‘puter) and it just won’t let you rest until you do?

I have been thinking alot lately about Soul Connections. What causes one soul to connect to another?

Sunday morning, I lay in bed thinking about all the things I had to do that day.   Sunday is my mom’s Bingo day so I take her to that and then  while she’s there, I do her grocery shopping and clean her house.

Anyway, as I lay there thinking about how I dreaded being out in the almost freezing rain outside, I heard my ex leave the house and get his bike out of the garage. He cannot drive since he has lost his driver’s license. This is where my life gets complicated and you may think of me as trash. My ex who had been in jail for multiple DUI’s moved back into the house last Fall when he got out. I didn’t want him too but I didn’t have much of a choice. The house is in both of our names. I had no cause to put a restraining order on him as he has never been abusive. And he needed a place to stay. So he came back. And we live as roommates. He does pay the mortgage payment which has helped out a lot. We aren’t enemies  but we rarely talk at all unless it’s some house hold or kid thing that needs to be addressed. We have no physical contact. So in other words, pretty much the same way it was when we were married.  I hate having him here, it feels like my life is in limbo but financially I’m not in any position to move out yet, specially with kids still at home.

Anyway, as I lay there and listened to the father of my children get out his bike, and pedal the 4 miles away in freezing rain and rough wind, just to see his girlfriend, I realized I never had a soul connection to him. He does have one with his girlfriend, who is still in jail. When I first married “Stan”, I made excuses as to why he never remembered my birthday, or thought of me at Christmas or Mother’s Day. I said he was just quiet and it wasn’t his nature to show his feelings and talk. I felt sad about all of this and felt like I was in half of a marriage but I consoled myself by saying this was just the way Stan was. He loved me in his own way. I realized when I found all of his love letters to his girlfriend that he wasn’t really that closed up and quiet. He just was with me. I think I was almost as upset about finding out that he really was capable of a loving relationship as I was about the cheating. I then had to wonder what was so wrong with me that he couldn’t open up to me like that? I dealt with self blame for awhile along with anger towards him for destroying our family and our marriage. I have come to realize that his girlfriend is his soul mate. They have a soul connection that he and I never had. It must suck to be married to someone and suddenly meet the person you were meant to be with. I have forgiven him. I would never take him back (not that he even wants that) but I have forgiven him. And I envy him in a way even though he has totally screwed up his life. He has found his soul mate. I don’t think I ever will.

I believe we can have soul connections with more than one person and they don’t have to be in a romantic relationship with you. You probably have a soul connection with your best friend. Haven’t you met someone that you immediately felt a connection to, almost like you had known them all of your life? And then there’s those who try as you might, you can never feel close to or sometimes even  like. Most people we come in conntact with fall in the middle. The magic comes when you make one of those soul connections to someone of the opposite sex, who you are attracted to, and you are both available. That doesn’t seem to happen very often. My parents had that kind of relationship and were true soul mates. Consider yourself lucky if you get the chance to have a relationship such as this. It’s hard to find. I often wonder what it is in our soul that connects that way to another soul.

Ok, I feel better now. It felt good to get that out. I hope you don’t think too badly of me for being in a mess like this with an ex who was a jail bird. Please know that I live in a normal middle class  house. I am college educated and come from a nice, upper middle class family.  I have tried to raise my kids properly. Unfortunately one of them struggles with alcoholism like her father, and has made some poor choices, even though she is doing  better now. All of my children have trust issues with the people they date and do not ever wish to marry. I feel so bad about that as I know it’s due to seeing the marriage their father and I had.  I wish I could turn back the clock and change some things but until they get that old time/space continuum thing figured out, I guess I’m stuck trying to make the best of poor choices made long ago. It helps to have outlets such as this, and several close friends to talk things out with.

Here’s to you having many soul connections and one soul mate!

P.S. I almost forgot my life tip.  We have a doggy door that is a must if you have 4 dogs. The downside is when the weather gets cold, the mice come inside looking for a warm place to stay. I tried the live traps, with little success, the sticky traps that work but just aren’t humane and finally just use the regular old mouse traps that seem to do the trick. When they do come in, before you catch them, to keep them out of my cupboards and drawers, I found several things that they really hate. Both are smelly. The first is moth balls. Mice hate moth balls. Unfortunately I don’t like having my home smell like my grandma’s closet. I also found that mice don’t like the smell of peppermint either. So I got some peppermint oil (don’t get it on your hands as the pure stuff will actually numb you), put in spray bottle and spray the insides of my drawers and cabinets. It smells nicer than moth balls and works just as well.

P.P.S. Quote for the day:  Do one thing every day that scares you! Anonymous

Paul Harvey and an Irresistable Woman?

I just heard on twitter that Paul Harvey died at age 90. To tell you the truth, I didn’t even know he was still alive. I remember my dad listening to him when I was just a kid & I’m almost 50!  He was an icon for an era gone by and I’m sorry to see him go. My dad just assed away in June and it seems like that whole era is just dissapearing as the folks die off. I know it’s a part of life and the circle of life and all, but it’s still sad. As Paul would say, on to the rest of the story…

I don’t know wabout the rest of the country but our weather is totally wacky lately. The last couple of days was warm & in the 70′s. Today we paid for that wonderful weather with rain & the 40′s & Monday they are actually calling for 5 inches of snow! Now that would be a real rarity in this area. Usually if we do get snow, it’s just a light dusting that dissappears within a few hours but I do remember several blizzards in my lifetime.  Personally, I want Sring to be here & I really don’t want the snow to come even if it is pretty and a rarity.

Have you heard about what Christina Wiley of Irresitable Woman Entrepreneur is offering? Her Irresistible Woman Entrepreneur 101 coaching system starts on  Tuesday, March 2nd and she is offering a free membership to one irresistible woman. All you need to do is go to her site and tell her why you think you deserve a free spot in this upcoming session. Deadline to enter is 6pm Pacific/8pm Central/9pm Eastern on Sunday, March 1, 2009.

Ok, the above was equivalent to a business tip so onto today’s quote:

Dance as though no one is watching you.

Love as though you have never been hurt before.

Sing as though no one can hear you.

Live as though heaven is on earth.

Which domain to use?

The quest for a new laptop is over. After days of dealing with numerous ebay auctions, I finally  my Dell Inspiron pink laptop. I paid more than I wanted $305. I was hoping to pay no more than $260.  But I couldn’t wait any longer. My biz is being severely limited by not having a good working computer. So now I’m eagerly awaiting the delivery of “Pinkie”. Yes, I name my appliances, and my cars. Silly huh?

Ok, got a quick question for any readers out there. I’m getting ready to make a static site about dogs. I own 2 names DogTips.org (the .com extension was taken) and YourDogCare.com. Which one do you like better. Now on the surface, I’d pick the Your Dog Care one since it has .com on the end. And we all know .com is king. That’s what most people think of when entering web addresses. But I do really like the name Dog Tips. It’s short and sweet. Of course there’s an .org at the end instead of .com and that’s why I can’t completely embrace that one. One of my mentors, Willie Crawford, says that he often uses .org because it assumes authority to a site and it often ranks well in google. So that makes me feel better if I do decide to pick the dog tips name.   So leave a comment and help me decide! PLEASE!

My life tip is about gas. I know the prices have gone down (Thank God!) but they slowly seem to be creeping up. To find the best prices in your area, msn-autos   will give them to you. You can also get your local traffic reports and driving directions.

Today’s quote: The best and most beautiful thingsin the world cannot be seen,or even touched….they must be felt with the heart. Helen Keller

A few tips and random chit chat

I have nothing really to talk about today except I’m still on the  war path for a new laptop. I have been wanting a mini laptop to take with me when I’m out,  in addition to my regular home laptop. I’m thinking I may go ahead and get a mini one now to use as my main computer.

I don’t know if this is everywhere or just our area, but today while in the post office passport office, (I may be going to Mexico within a few months!) I got to talking to the guy next to me who told me that our local Kmart SuperStore is going out of business. So on the way home, I stopped by there. I have been needing a few household items and was hoping to find them for a good price. I got some great sales! For under $60, I got a drink pitcher, a faux mink throw, a cute satin shirt, 2 area rugs and the biggest value, a beuatiful, soft king sized comforter for only $9.60! I’m really thinking that might have been mis-priced but I’m not about to argue with them.  Don’t you just love those days when you get something really cool for a really great price?

Speaking of great prices, how about free? Quiznos is giving away free subs! Here’s a link to sign up to get a coupon: http://millionsubs.com/

That was my life tip for today! Here’s my biz tip: if you need a  calender that has all the weird, cool holidays (great if you need something to make up an event about for your business or for blog fodder), here’s a site that has them for you: http://www.brownielocks.com/month2.html

I Need a New Laptop!

I realized today how totally, utterly and completely attached I have become to my computer when it died last night! My poor old laptop (circa 2000) has been on it’s last legs for a while now and I knew I’d have to replace it soon. My son was checking it out for me and in the process, actually hastened it’s death! It died a quiet, quick death.

Ryan, my son, being Ryan and somewhat OCD (Obsessive Complusive Disorder) stayed up half the night trying to fix it despite my objections. He finally passed out around 3 a.m. Poor baby, he has to be up at 6 for school.

When he got home from school, he was right back to work on the laptop trying to repair it. He felt so guilty about being the one to break it though it really was on it’s last legs.

I feel like I’m missing an arm or a leg. We do have a monstrasity of a computer in the family room that I have been using today instead but it’s a poor substitute. It’s not small or portable. Nor does it have my tricked out firefox toolbar and all my stuff just where I want it. But at least it gets me online.

I have been trying all day to win a pink laptop on ebay and it hasn’t been easy! I have lost 5 auctions in a row. Don’t these people know I’m lost without a laptop?

I’m going to keep trying and victory will be mine! I shall have a new (to me anyway) pink laptop. A wahm can hardly do without one!

Monthly Themes

At the beginning of 2008, I decided that instead of New Year’s resolutions, I was going to have a theme for the year. For me 2008, was the year to try new things and take more chances. I actually stuck to it and changed a lot of things in my life, took a lot of chances and definitey grew as a person.

So this year, I still haven’t pinned down what my theme is. It’s either to get my life organized or a business goal that is too much to go into here.

I was thinking, why not have monthly goals? For instance, March I will get my finances and paperwork in order (to prepare for tax time). April will be Marketing Month, May will be Media Month. That’s as far as I have gotten but I like this idea. I’m thinking that when I decide on a theme for a particular month, I can then break down the steps I need to do to accomplish it and put a step on my calender for each day. By the end of the month, my goal should be complete.  I will have to watch myself so as not to load too much on each day. Other wise, if I miss a day or two, I’ll get too far behind, get discouraged and give up.

So what do you think? Like this idea? What will your themes be for the next few months and what is your yearly theme?

Am I an Internet Marketer?

A few days ago, I was at a local Internet Marketing meet-up. We have several big time internet marketers in this area and one of them came to this meeting.  Since I had met this guy before at an out of town conference and even had dinner with him one night, I consider him a casual friend. As we were talking, I was telling him about my relatively new blog Bloggy Doggies and I proudly told him that after having the blog up for 6 weeks, I was getting 200-250 visitors a day & about 30 subscribers. He asked me how much money I was making from it and I had to admit, very little. Maybe a few cents  in adsense, but that was it. He got a weird look on his face and  when I asked him “What?”, he said, ‘I don’t know what to tell you Cathy, I’m usually making money by the time I consistently get 50 visitors a day’.

I really didn’t think much about it at the time but on the way home, the ramifications of his statement finally hit me. I must be a horrible internet marketer.  Why am I even doing this? I obviously don’t know what I’m doing. What’s the point? Maybe I should just give up on all this stuff and go get a job working the night shift at Walmart. I felt very discouraged and ready to give up.

By the time I got home, I knew I needed to write a blog post for the  next day but I didn’t want to even look at the blog that up to that point, had been my passion. I threw up a couple of funny pictures and called it a night.

The next morning, things seemed a little clearer. I was able to see why he is making money and I am not. His blogs are set up to promote his products. That is their sole purpose. Bloggy Doggies isn’t. Yes, I have Amazon & adsense on there, and a few affiliate links but I don’t actively promote anything. My blog’s purpose is to entertain and inform on a topic I’m passionate about.

Yes, I would love to make money with it, at the very least, enough to pay for my time and expenses.  So now the question is, if I really want to monetize it, how can I? I’m not a high pressure sale kind of gal like most internet marketers but apparently the subtle approach doesn’t work. Should I just keep it like it is since it’s my passion and focus on something else that I can better monetize? I’m not sure but that’s the way I’m leaning. These are the things I am wrestling with.  I’m open to any words of wisdom.

Ok, today’s tip is a great blogging resource! Carrie Lauth of Natural Moms Talk Radio has written a wonderful resource called 100Blogging Tips . You can find it over at Profitable Mommy Blogging

Obsessed with your Business?

Are you obsessed with your business? I think sometimes we work a home folks can become obsessed by it. There are often no clearly defined limits in space and time. I know I work at my business all day long in between caring for my mother, my family, my home, & errands. It’s not a 9 to 5 thing. It’s more like a 9 to 11, 1 to 3, 7 to 2 a.m. or something like that. It can be crazy. Even whn I not actually physically working at my business, I’m often thinking about it and strategizing about it my mind. I’m guessing it’s part of the entrepreneur mind set.

I realized how bad my obsession had gotten after Christmas. Now because one of my businesses is a craft business that specializes in personalized Christmas ornaments, of course I ‘m going to have my life taken over by my business during those few months before Christmas. I often work 18 hour days and even a few all nighters before a big craft show.

But this year, it didn’t lesson after Chrristmas. Instead of relaxing and taking a break, I still seemed to be in business obsession mode.  Yes, I’m a home business addict.  And I like it

The problem with this is you become one dimensional. We all need a well balanced life. I noticed I wasn’t doing fun things with my off line friends anymore. I wasn’t reading novels anymore (only business books). I hardly ever watch TV anyway but the few shows I do enjoy, I was forgetting about them and missing them.  Although I still took numerous mini breaks through out the day to go out in the back yard and chase around the dogs for a few minutes, I wasn’t taking them for long walks like I used to do.

I decided I had to make some changes so I’m forcing myself to have more of a life. After a recent out of town business conference, I took a week off to spend time with my best friend who lives in the same town the conference was in.  I am going to a movie once or twice a month. I’m making a point to get together with friends too once or twice a month for lunch, or to browse a bookstore and then sit in a coffee shop and read our treasures we got from the bookstore, or to play with our crafts. I also started reading novels again. My very favorite author is Ted Dekkerand oddly enough, his book that I’m reading (and loving!) now is called Obsessed

You know what’s strange? SInce I have been trying to take a little more time to have a personal life, instead of having my business suffer, I have been much more productive. So my advice to you is to examine your life. How much of it is consumed by your business? Try to sprinkle some of things that you love into your day. You will be surprised at how much happier you become!

Being in Sandwich Generation Aint Easy!

Today has been a tough day. Too many people needing me and I feel like I don’t have anything left to give. It’s not easy being in the sandwich generation when you have to care for your parents and your kids.

I feel like I’m often a bad mother and a bad daughter and everyone is getting short changed including me.  I’m not a natural caregiver. At least not for people. I am for animals. That brings up a whole another can of guilt. Why should I care more for animals than I do people? I don’t know. I was just born feeling very close to animals, specially dogs. Of course I love my family more than my pets but it just seems like such a physical & emotional struggle to care for people and it doesn’t for animals. I’ve accepted that in myself and if that makes me a bad person, well so be it. I don’t know how to change it.

I do try to be a good caregiver, most the time.  But then are times when an elderly parent is specially demanding and I think if I have to do this another day, I’m going to lose my mind. But then, I get up the next day and do it again. I keep myself sane  by telling myself that it’s not forever. To appreciate the time I have left with them. And I have my fantasies of living in a log cabin, on a lake in the country with no responsibility to anyone but myself. That’s what keeps me going.

I know I’m not alone out here. There are many of us in the baby boomer generation that are struggling to keep it together caring for surly teenagers and elderly, ill parents along with homes, relationships and jobs or businesses. You don’t hear too much about us, probably cos we are just too tired and busy to make waves. But we are a silent army, trying to keep our families together and ourselves in one piece.

Ok, I feel better now that I had my little rant.  I can face another day. I guess I’m lucky this blog is new with not many readers. LOL.

Today’s life tip:

If you have a problem with toenail fungus and can’t afford the very expensive prescription that takes many months for it to even work, there is a simple alternative.  Alot of folks have had luck with Vicks Salve, something you can buy very cheaply in any drugstore. Just slather it on and under your tonenails at night before bed and put cotton socks on to sleep. You can rub some in, in the morning too before you put your shoes and socks on. You should see an improvement within a month or two.